


i'm very clever: cronus, rose

by orphan_account



Series: HHCOD fills [22]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: AHCOD fills, Asthma, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Oneshot, request fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-11
Updated: 2013-06-11
Packaged: 2017-12-14 15:22:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/838420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>vwhat do you do wvhen you're suddenly drovwnin in clear air and nobody is answverin your trollian pings gaspin for help? Call on the fuckin humes for assistance is vwhat. Specially the one vwith the wvands.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'm very clever: cronus, rose

chaoticprocrastinator asked ampora-hc-on-demand: Give Cronus a particularly bad asthma attack and someone to talk him through it? 

  
CA: rose human   
CA: hey   
CA: i forget your other name, i knowv humans got twvo a them but   
CA: c'mon be online   
CA: please   
CA: seriously   
CA: im beggin you   
TT: I can't imagine why.   
TT: What is it you want, Not-Dualscar?   
CA: i need your help   
CA: or somebody's help, but it ain't like anyone else is evwen answverin my trollian pings these fuckin nights   
CA: vwhat the fuck is th   
CA: help   
TT: Step one, you've managed to pique my interest. What have you done now?   
CA: i dunno just   
CA: can't breathe   
CA: like   
CA: just suddenly fuckin started feelin like i got somethin crushin my chest   
CA: i had it before but nevwer so bad   
CA: fuck   
CA: rose human vwhat the fuck do i do   
TT: First off, stop calling me Rose Human. Lalonde will do nicely.   
TT: Second: are you wheezing in a highly embarrassing sort of way?   
CA: howv did you knovw that   
TT: I'm very clever. You're having an acute asthma attack, probably related to cigarette consumption.   
CA: vwhat do i do c'mon it   
CA: fuck i cant breathe   
CA: im gonna die   
TT: You're already dead, and no, you aren't going to die. Unfortunately I can't...hmm. Perhaps I -can- alchemize something bronchodilatory.   
CA: vwhat does that mean rose please help me   
TT: I am. Shhh. You are going to be fine, Ampora. I need you to sit upright and undo any ridiculous scarves you may have wrapped round your throat. I will be there shortly.   
CA: you promise   
TT: I promise.   


When she gets there he's very obviously in distress, accessory-muscle breathing visible, hands pressing his chest and throat. She sits down beside him and he gives her a beseeching blank stare and tries to say something, but just coughs a nasty choked series of coughs that look like they hurt, sharp wheezes in between each. Violet tears are standing in his eyes with the effort of it. 

Rose puts a hand on his back. She can feel his weird seadweller lungs laboring, feel the tense anxiety of someone who isn't getting enough air. "I can't guarantee this will work, but it might help. And it will probably taste absolutely foul." She hadn't been able to alchemise a proper inhaler, so what she has is a spray bottle. "Try and breathe out all the way, and then take as deep a breath as you can when I say." 

Cronus can't speak, just nods slightly, his earfins pointing at the floor. He presses his chest with both hands, a long agonized wheeze, and when she nods he makes a valiant effort to breathe in just as she triggers the spray. For a moment she thinks she's made it worse as he suddenly starts to hack, but then he draws in a deeper breath, and another, and when she puts her arm around him he droops to rest his head on her shoulder, panting, still too shallow and wheezing but easier than it was. 

It takes another two shots of her improvised variation on albuterol before he's really close to comfortable breathing. By then he's also close to his usual insufferable self, complaining about everything including the taste of the stuff, the indignity of the spray bottle, and the iron fist of nemesis that had done this to him in the first place. Rose gets up. 

"Bit of advice, Ampora. Lay off the cigarettes, because they -will- make this come back. And I'll leave this with you. Keep it in the fridge." 

"La--" he starts, and coughs, ragged wet hacks. "Lalonde. Don't. Don't tell the others." 

"No fear," she says. "Your incredibly obvious secret is safe with me." 

"Thanks." 

She looks at him, and a lock of Brylcreemed hair flops inelegantly over one eye. He doesn't move to relocate it. 

"Welcome. Just...be fucking sensible, for once, if you can manage it, and stay away from dust and smoke and pollen." 

He nods again, and then straightens up, puts his hair back where it ought to be, and essays the shit-eating grin. "Sure you don't wanna stay an' play naughty nurse?" 

"I'm quite convinced you're back to normal," she says, and gives him a little ironic bow before taking herself off.


End file.
